Our story begins with an excitable yet well mannered child by the name of Dutch. At first he used to run and play nice with all the other children, until one rainy day he learned he was a little bit different than all the other boys and girls, he had a secret and it drove him to the dark side. You see, sweet little Dutch began hanging out with a local gang known as the Crypto-Orchid Clan (AKA the Uni-Ballers). At first the COC seemed to Dutch like a nice group that he could really relate to, until the rash of criminal behavior began. It started out small and harmless with poor unexpecting books, shoes, and piano covers as the primary victims; however within a matter of only weeks it had graduated to tunnel's dug to China through the living-room couch. (Which by the way led to a conviction and death sentence. This ruling however was later overturned due to an unjust trial that was conducted at the crime scene without the presence of the lady of the land...whose vote counts as 75% in sentences where the defendant is under the age of 1.) Although that's well and good, this story has little to do with law and ethics. The real meat of our tale begins when Dutch asked that his father drop him off at a new hang out called Chemstrand Oakes Vet Clinic, so he and a friend could get tutored; which his father lovingly did and then proceeded to work. Well it appears that Dutch forgot to leave bread crumbs out so he could find his way home because part way through the day he called to ask that his father pick him up on his way home from work, as he was feeling sick and could not make it home on his own. So being the great parent that he is, Dutch's father went to pick him up and indeed found one sick puppy sleeping in a locked metal cage. When asked if he was ready to go home, Dutch simply stared longingly at the wall. Upon further examination Dutch seemed to have no motor coordination, little attention span, and appeared to be walking as if wearing high heel shoes. Being that Dutch's father had a background in being an amazingly fantastic super-de-duper hero; he scooped Dutch up and rescued him from his captivity. Dutch remained in a state of stumbly stupor for the remainder of the evening and it was not until the next morning that the full story came out. In an attempt to be "cool" he decided to get high on some tranquilizers with his "friends." After taking far too many he fell silently asleep until later that afternoon when he awoke in immense pain, only to find that his friends were all gone and not only did they leave him all alone and badly bruised, but they had also made off with his jewels...jewels that he knew he would be in deep trouble for losing because they had been in the family for nearly eight months. Although they were upset, his parents forgave him and nursed him back to health so they could live happily ever after.
So what we have learned today is that if you are bad and defy your parents, your so called friends may beat you up and steal the things that are most important to you. Just to tie it all together the moral of the story can be wrapped nicely together in a tight little package that goes a little something like this. "When you booze you looze" so "be cool and stay in school." AS for Dutch, there is no doubt that he will spend many more sleepless night wondering what ever became of those family jewels.
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